From A to Z
by lise carew
Summary: incredibly silly sci-fi adaptation of romeo and juliet. hey look, i even finished it. oh, go ahead and read/review it. it doesn't bite
1. act 1

AN: Ok, I wrote this in 9th grade – it's incredibly silly. The reason I am posting it is that I would like some opinions on whether I should go to the trouble of rewriting it, since I actually rather like it for some reason.

Disclaimer: Wow, I did not write _Romeo and Juliet_. Aren't you surprised? Also, first chapter borrows heavily from Mercedes Lackey's _By the Sword_. I'm sorry, don't sue me!

From A to Z

Grolier's Multimedia Encyclopedia - 4053 edition : Anarsia, Planet

Anarsia, fifth satellite of primary 395210, a.k.a. Star Usolu, Sector 45, was the 29th colony planet settled after the supernova of Sol, and consequent destruction of Terra. Human Caste system of Korfs and Sors in operation. A Korf is analogous to olden times Lord, Sor is personal servant. Sors will be bound to Korfs for periods of five to ten years. During interim, the Sor may be almost completely controlled by the Korf (See Sor for details). Population: 3,047,083. Colony force composed of both Churrian (characteristics see Churrian) and Human (characteristics see Human) races. Settled 12/28/3949 standard Terran time.

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"Kitelo, grab it!" came Zaineel's panicked cry, as the ponderous ice-sculpture in the center of the platter began to tilt. He managed to get it rebalanced long enough for her to race across the long kitchen hall to help him set it on the counter.

"Thank all the Lords and Ladies Above!" was her reverent sigh of relief. "If that thing had fallen, who knows what Alenele would have done!" She helped Kitelo carefully rebalance the towering ice creation, -_monstrosity-_ his brain supplied, on his shoulder. 

The Birth-eve celebration for Korf Alenele Fenelia Meryna Laraine Bismount was starting to take its toll on their nerves. The nineteen artistically artificial courses were all very heavy, and all very hard to serve. Zaineel had drafted every able body within calling distance of the kitchen dome, including her best friend, Kitelo.

"And this was supposed to be a visit," he grumbled as he marched out into the hall. Oh well, at least he would get to see Zai's often talked of mistress. He pushed open the serving door, running through his mind the litany Zaineel had drilled into him. _-Walk to the head table, present the dish, pray to every deity you can think of that the ugly thing doesn't melt, set the dish in front of Alenele.-_ He walked through the double doors, managing somehow not to scrape it against the sides, went through the routine, and as he was setting the dish down looked straight at Alenele, and promptly fell head over heels in love. How he managed to get back to the kitchen he never knew.

He must have looked strange when he reentered the kitchen dome, because Zaineel immediately rushed over (no mean feat in the crowded dome) and told him to sit down. 

"Zai, why didn't you tell me how... how..." He stopped, at a loss for words.

"How what? How long the room was? How many people would be there? What didn't I tell you?"

"How beautiful she is. Zai, I think I must be in love!"

"At least you didn't fall head over heels into the _ice_. "Zaineel said callously. "Look, I don't have time for this silliness. Now take this to the third table to the right," and she handed him a tray of soup bowls.

"But..." He was too late. She had already rushed off to prevent another minor calamity. He reluctantly headed off to serve the soup. 

As Zaineel raced off after several apprentice cooks, she tried to sort out the strange and confused feelings Kitelo's confession of love for Alenele had caused. She swatted the slacking cooks soundly, and managed to pause a moment and lean against the cold wall. Then she got up, deciding her emotions would just have to wait, and went to check the servers.


	2. acts2 through ...um, somewhere...

AN: ok, this is the long chapter, just cause I'm being lazy and not breaking it up so as to give you heart-stopping cliffhangers (uh huh). Anyways, hope you're amused

Disclaimers: didn't I already do these? oh well, please don't sue, I don't think I'm broaching any copywrites

As the last guests filed exhaustedly out the door, Sor Zaineel Nove examined her feelings as closely as she dared. She had till the sun or Alenele rose, whichever came first. Checking the chrono in her room she discovered it to be a shockingly short amount of time until the Anarsian dawn.

-_No time to sleep. I suppose I'll just have more coffee then usual in the morning.-_ Well, plenty of time to sort out those feelings that had confused her so this - no last night.

_-They still do,-_ she realized. 

-_Protectiveness, for sure. That feeling is stronger than the others. He doesn't know how cold hearted she is, and how she uses everyone. Anger, too, I think, at her for wearing those pheromones. I told her not to! What a stupid thing to do with all those men around. What does she want, to be a second Helen of Troy?-_ Probably.

But there was something else there too. What was it? A thought occurred, but it seemed too ridiculous to even consider. Kitelo was her closest friend. They had known each other since he was a kitten and she a young girl of one. There was no way that she could be in love with him! 

_________________

Lorn glanced up from his book when his younger brother came in. "I told you so," said his look.

"If Churriae slept, I would say you were waiting up for me, like humans do," Kitelo accused the panther-like figure.

"Why should I bother?" Lorn snorted. "What's the matter with you?" he added, noticing his brothers starry-eyed expression.

"I'm in love."

"Who is the lady?" _-This time?-_

"Korf Alenele Fenelia Meryna Laraine Bismount."

That threw Lorn out of his bland nonchalance. "When I said Lady, I didn't mean it literally!" He would have been less surprised if his brother had expressed a desire to stand on his head eating bananas and reciting bad poetry until the end of the universe.

_________________

"Zai, please? I have to see her again!" Kitelo begged. It was the day after the momentous feast. "Couldn't you do something? I feel as if I'm going to burst. It seems like I have a stomach full of butterflies, I get dizzy and I can never stop thinking of her!"

"As to the first three complaints, take a hangover pill. They are probably caused by something you stole from the feast behind my back. As for the third, well, think of something else, hum a tune," Zaineel told him, debating whether to tell him that Alenele had used pheromones to enhance her attractiveness.

"Zai, you have to let me see her!"

"Look you, I'm not the one who makes up her social calendar," Zaineel said, more pityingly. "Hey, I'll see what I can do," she added "but don't expect a miracle! Alenele has never been receptive of any suitors, high or low, human or Churrian, handsome or ugly. _If _by some crazy miracle I do get her to see you, you'd better have something to say besides: 'Hello, my name is Kitelo, I get dizzy with butterflies in my stomach every time I think of you, will you marry me?' That's not going to impress her very much."

"I'll think of something, just get her to see me!" He begged once again.

-_Why did I agree to this?- _Zaineel thought irritably. -_This will only end up hurting him! But I just wasn't able to tell him what she did. Oh, those stupid pheromones should be made illegal! If she used the right ones, they won't wear off until he has another stimulus even stronger in that area. Aie, Cupid's arrow could probably not be more fatal. If only... No, he sees me as his sister. It will never be, and he must never know. It would hurt him too much._-As she passed through the door into the receiving room, as Alenele liked to call it, she wondered if she was doing the right thing.

The second Zaineel walked through the door, Alenele got an impression that something was bothering the Sor. _-Well, what ever it is will be dispersed when I tell her the news. After all, my brother Dreyjus is a **very** wealthy man, and he's only 62!-_

"Good morning, Mistress." Zaineel greeted her. _-True, he is considered by ladies in the higher circles to be a pervert, though I have absolutely no clue why, but it isn't every day a Korf is willing to marry a Sor, however pretty and young she is or how old he is, although I suppose occasionally you do hear of it.- _Unlike other Korfs, Alenele probably wouldn't have to use the little known of right as Korf to Sor to force Zaineel to marry Dreyjus. Lost in her matchmaking reverie, she completely missed what Zai had been saying.

Zaineel merely shrugged and repeated what she had said: there was a young gentleman waiting to speak with her, would she speak with him or not?

"Who is it?" She asked, and was informed that it was a young man whom she had deeply impressed at her fete. "Certainly," She replied. The good news could wait a little longer. 

_-Now then, who could this be? _- She hadn't expected more then one or two conquests coming this early, more would surely follow. -_Well, come what may,-_ and she began preparing herself for company.

Zaineel closed the door behind Kitelo, feeling as if she was closing the door on her own heart. She reluctantly went to mend the dress Alenele had ripped at the last party she had been to.

_-I don't even want to know how she ripped this._- Zaineel thought irately, and picked out some silver thread from a drawer._ -I hate to think about what she'll say to him. Why did I have to fall in love with my best friend? And just as he became infatuated with Alenele? Was that really necessary, Lords and Ladies Bright?- _Finished with the dress, she decided to wait outside Alenele's door for Kitelo, to make sure he would not throw himself off a convenient balcony, as a previous rejected suitor had.

______________________ 

Kitelo walked through the heavy double doors with no sign of his nervousness showing, though his gut was roiling. Alenele was sitting on a blue chair looking completely stunning from the tops of her raven tresses, her rosy face shining, to her small feet encased in jewel embroidered slippers. In her eyes he thought that he detected for a single instant a certain avaricious gleam, but told himself he had imagined it. He approached her silken semi-throne reverently.

"Good evening, Sir." Her cloying voice greeted him. "My Sor neglected to tell me your name."

"Kitelo, Korf Alenele. Might I say you are looking even more gorgeous that those lovely stars out the window?"

"Why, thank you for your charming, though undeserved, compliment." To herself, she said, _-Young fop. I've gotten better compliments from my brother. I don't remember inviting any Churrians named Kitelo to the fete. He does seem rather familiar, though._- They continued to exchange rather stilted, inane pleasantries. _-Perhaps he was one of the servers!_- The thought suddenly occurred to her. Yes, he had brought forward the ice likeness of herself! _-I remember him now. I believe he is a friend of Zai's, yes, that's it._- Alenele's mood soured. She had expected him to be at least some minor Korf. Her pleasant attitude became strained, and she wished for the interview to be over.

"What did you come here for, exactly?" She said abruptly.

Somewhat surprised, he answered bluntly and truthfully, "I came to ask you to marry me. I have not much in the way of lands or titles, but I am an honest man, I am a hard worker, I'm not the first to break down under pressure, and I love you. Will you?"

Alenele hadn't quite expected this. Before she could draw enough breath to voice her adamant and scathing negative, the doors flew open, and in stalked Korf Dreyjus Jisolius Aramanta Bismount. He started to apologize, but Alenele cut him off.

"Kitelo was just leaving, were not you, sir? Your proposition was intriguingly presented, but my answer is no. Please do not bring it up again. Good-by." And with that she turned her back to him. Kitelo dazedly made for the door were Zaineel quietly waited.

________________

Lorn heard a slow pounding on the front door to the apartment he shared with Kitelo. He was fairly shocked to see Zaineel supporting his brother's limp form. He quickly opened the door.

"What happened?!" He nearly yelled, worried over his brother's usually bright black eyes looking dull and gray.

"Alenele refused him, rather callously, I think," was her short reply. "I can't stay here long, Alenele will be wanting me for something by now. Keep a close eye on him. The last few rejected suitors tried to kill themselves." And with that, she rushed out the door back to the Bismount estate.

"You are brave, little brother, very brave, and you have not one jot of common sense."

Zaineel raced her little speeder back to the estate, praying that Alenele had not missed her yet. As she opened the door into Alenele's room, that same Korf rose from a chair.

"There you are! Where have you been?"

"About. I had some important things that needed doing. I'm sorry if I caused you any inconvenience," Zaineel replied submissively.

"Well, you're here now, and I can tell you the good news!"

"It must be wonderful, by the way you are smiling."

"Very. What do you think of my brother?"

Zaineel was startled. "What was that, Korf?"

"I asked you what you think of my brother," Alenele repeated patiently. Of course Zaineel would somewhat dazed and confused by all of this. It was only natural.

"Well, um... I'm sure that he's very amiable to his peers," Zaineel stammered out, confused and not wishing to insult Alenele. "He can be very generous at times." There, she hadn't insulted Alenele, and she hadn't told a lie. It had been hard not to let the truth fall about his rude and hateful manner with anyone below his rank, his inconsideration and his automatic assumption that every female was stupid, and also that every female was in love with him.

Alenele was satisfied with the barely truthful praise. "Well the good news is that soon you will become my sister. Dreyjus has asked to marry you! I knew you would be thrilled, so of course I agreed for you. What do you say?"

Zaineel gaped at her. "What... did you... just... say?" She asked, praying that she had heard wrong, two steps away from full blown panic.

"I said that Dreyjus asked me if you would marry him and I gave my consent. Must I repeat everything tonight? Aren't you thrilled?" Alenele repeated, allowing some of her exasperation to show. Some shock and confusion, perhaps some protestation of social differences was expected, but Zaineel should have at least been showing some sign of pleasure by now! Instead, she had fainted! How very strange.

__________________

For the second time in two days Lorn was forced away from his book by someone pounding on the door. 

"Who is it?" He called.

"Zaineel!" came the muffled reply.

"Door's unlocked!" Lorn told her, and regretfully laid aside his book.

The second Lorn saw her face, he jumped up and helped her to a chair. Her dark eyes looked almost black in her white, stricken face.

"What now?" He asked.

"Get Alenele withen five feet of the idea of marriage and you get disaster. She wants me to marry her brother! No, she ordered me to. I don't know what to do!" And she burst out sobbing.

"What's going on?" asked Kitelo, coming into the room. "Is this apartment turning into an asylum for inconsolable mourners?" He looked better than he had the night before, but very nervous and sad. He crossed the room and pulled a chair over to were Zaineel sat.

"Alenele has ordered Zai to marry Dreyjus," Lorn explained to his brother.

"Can she do that?" Kitelo asked alarmedly. _-No one should be able to do that!_-

"Yes."

"Can't you quit your job with her?" Lorn asked.

"I am indentured for another day. That's plenty of time for her to marry me to Dreyjus. The ceremony is to be tomorrow evening," her voice was a monotone, and her despairing eyes stared into oblivion. The two brothers got her up and took her into the kitchen, got her to eat and drink a little, and slowly drew the story out of her. "And I couldn't get away from her and her preparations until now," she finished.

"No race would invent a system so perverted," Lorn insisted. "There has to be some way out."

"Oh, for some there is, but not for me," Zai replied despairingly. "If a woman is married, her mistress or master cannot order her to divorce her husband, and the government does not sanction bigamy. But I'm not married, and there isn't much of a probability that I'll find a husband within the next several hours. As a character in an old 2-d I used to watch said, 'The odds of survival are 7,890,701,958 to one.' Or something like that."

"Anything else?"

"Some other things, but they have to do with age, and Alenele knows mine."

"I'm heading down to the Library. Maybe there will be something in there," Lorn said as he left the room.

"You won't find anything. I've already been there," she called after him, but it was too late, Lorn had left.


	3. hey, its the balcony scene, modified to ...

AN: kay, I got a second review, so I feel empowered enough to put up the last chapter. (see what power reviewers have, people?) thank you to both of my reviewers!

Warning: this chapter is complete, utter mush. Drivel. Fluff. Whatever other names you can think of. Its kinda cute tho

Kitelo had been quiet since his first outburst, and strange feelings had been running through his head. It took him a few minutes to put them in order, but once he had, the result was amazing. 

_-How can I be in love with my best friend! This is seriously strange._- Then what she said brought its full weight to bear. If she wasn't married by tomorrow afternoon, Alenele would marry her off to the 62 year old Dreyjus. _-If I asked... No, she'd laugh at me. Wait, what if I said only for the term of bondage, that we would get divorced once it was over! It would only be for the next day, maybe even only a few hours. She could stand that, even if she thinks I'm her brother. Yes, I'd at least help her that way. Now, how to say this without sounding like an idiot? _- He gathered his courage.

"...Maybe I can find someone. But I don't think its very likely. What would you do if someone walked up to you on the street and asked you to marry her? Probably laugh in her face," Zai had been talking along in this fashion for a while now, he realized guiltily.

"I don't think so. I'd ask her name first," he joked, which provoked weak laughter from her. "Look, Zai, if all you need is someone to marry you for a day, I suppose...I could fill that function," he ended in a rush, blushing heavily. 

"You'd do that for me?" She asked, hope lighting her face. 

_-The pheromones must not have been as strong as I thought if they've worn off enough for him to do this!_-she thought happily.

"Well, it _is_ only for one day. Besides, I don't want strange people on the street thinking my best friend was crazy."

"Thank you!"

________________

Cov Alarya k'Semourth looked at the young couple standing before her. Every time she married a couple, she predicted how long they would stay together. It was an old game of hers. Often, she predicted the pair would break up within a month. However, Alarya was certain that these two would never break apart. Still, they seemed more tense and nervous then the usual couple. Also, why had they insisted on such an early morning ceremony?

"Do you, Zaineel, wish for Kitelo to be your husband?" She asked the girl. Oh, for those old-fashioned ceremonies with long intricate passages, beautiful pledges, and the like. Still, this pair had made it very plain that they only wished for a quick binding ceremony. And only one witness, besides herself! She thought their witness might be a brother of the groom; there seemed to be a familial resemblance. "Will you honor him, help him, and never desert him, thick or thin?"

"I do, and I will," was the solemn, time old response.

"Do you, Kitelo, wish for Zaineel as your wife? Will you honor her, help her, and never desert her, thick or thin?"

"I do, and I will," came the same reply.

"Then I pronounce you married."

________________________

"I will not marry Dreyjus."

"What?!" Alenele was dumbfounded. "What do you mean by that! There is no reason at all why you shouldn't!" There couldn't be. "You are my Sor, if I say you marry him, you will marry him."

"No, I cannot. Even if I wanted to. The law does not sanction bigamy." She pulled Kitelo from were he had hidden in her shadow. If Alenele's jaw could have dropped lower, it would have. "I am already married." With that, she pulled forth a piece of paper from her jacket pocket. It was a certificate of marriage.

"Now don't you have some plans to call off?" Kitelo asked Alenele. She could only sit there gaping at him.

_________________

Kitelo walked through the Terran exhibit of the Ludanite Botanical Gardens, looking at the landscape. He and Zaineel had come here to celebrate the end of her indenture and the success of their plan. About an hour earlier, they had gone off to look at different exhibits, and planned to meet around midday for lunch. Such strange plants here, nothing like normal Anartian plants, and with even stranger names. Woolly Ragwort, African Violet, California Poppy, the tags and plants went on and on. The violets reminded him of Zaineel, they were exactly the dark blue of her eyes.

"What am I going to do? Now that her indenture is over, it will be time to get the divorce. If only she loved me! It seems as if my life is strictly composed of loving women who either who despise me or think of me as their little brother. What's wrong with me?" He demanded of a sycamore tree, so distressed he actually spoke aloud. The sycamore had no answer for him.

Once Kitelo had moved off along the path, Zaineel shakily stood up from where she had sat behind the sycamore tree to try to compose herself for the divorce ceremony that afternoon. 

_-Did I hear him right?_- Was all she could think. Her head reeled from the shock. _-I thought that Did he mean it?... Did he know I was here? No he couldn't have. I told him I wasn't going to go to the Terran exhibit because I'd seen it so often, and I know he couldn't see me. That spot's invisible from the path! He had to mean it. But how can I tell him I feel the same way? _- She rubbed her temples._ -Perhaps if I let him know the same way I found out? But is there enough time? Maybe. Where did he say he was going? The Venus Forest exhibit, that was it! Perfect!-_

Kitelo wandered through the deep paths of the Venus Forest exhibit. These screening trees were slightly more normal then the tall, bushy earth trees, though still very strange. You could not see from one path to another unless you looked very hard, even though the distance between paths was less then a foot. Then he heard a movement through the waving branches on the next path. He squinted through the tight network and saw Zaineel. All his woes came rushing back until he heard what she was saying.

"Oh, I wish that this afternoon would never come, and this time would merely remain. Or if time had to go on... Oh what's the use of wishing? I should just go and tell him. No, I can't! It would only hurt him, and me, one way or another. Either he'd feel guilty about it, or he'd offer to stay married, hating me more and more each day. He's just too chivalrous. I've had my time of joy. He doesn't love me like that, and he never will. Paradise can't go on for ever," She sighed, and started to head off towards the center of the maze, but before she could take ten steps Kitelo had managed to fight his way through the twisted trees. 

Gasping, he stammered out, "Did you really mean that? Did I hear you right?" Hope showed plainly on his face.

"Where did you come from?" She said, feigning alarm at being overheard. _-Yes!-_

she thought, pleased with the success of her bait.

"I was on the other path. Zai, will you... Oops! I think I just tried to propose to my wife! Zai, do you still want that divorce?"

"I wouldn't go to the hearing if wild horses dragged me!"


	4. and in the end...the author talks

End notes:

Kay, if you read my notes earlier, you will know that I wrote this about four years ago. I am in the process of rewriting it to make it a little less, well, immature. For those of you interested in seeing the difference, it will get posted eventually under a similar title. For those of you with suggestions as to how to change it, just leave a review and I will be most happy to contemplate your ideas. J have a nice day


End file.
